Where to Get Help When You Hurt

Hebrews 11:6
Last Sunday morning I introduced a series of messages to you that we'll focus on over the next few Sundays entitled, The Road to Recovery. On Tuesday, August 7, we're going to kick off a much needed ministry in this area called Celebrate Recovery. All over the nation, God has used this ministry to bring souls into the kingdom and to bring recovery to lives and homes. And I'm convinced that we'll see the same take place here.

Last week we said, all of us need recovery because none of us is perfect. The world is imperfect, we've all been hurt; we all have hang-ups; we all have habits we'd like to change. Everybody needs recovery. The steps are the same regardless of what your problem is whether it's a hurt, a hang-up, or a habit. We talked about last week that the root cause of all this is my desire is to control things. The more insecure you are, the more you want to control things: you want to control your life, you want to control other people's lives, control your environment-in short, you want to be God. You want to be at the center of your universe. When we try to control everything it ends up with fatigue, frustration, and failure.

How do you break out of that? How do you break out of those things? You have to get past denial. Denial is what keeps us from moving into recovery. "I heard about a lost-and-found ad in the paper that illustrates denial. It said, "Lost: a three-legged dog. Blind in right eye. Left ear missing. Broken tail. Recently castrated. Answers to the name 'Lucky.'" Now that's what I call denial. God's antidote for denial is pain. We rarely change when we see the light. We change when we feel the heat. We don't change until our fear of change is exceeded by the pain. Most people never really move into recovery until they're forced to move into it, because there is no other option. And I want you to understand that God uses three denial busters, things to get your attention, to force you to move into recovery from things that have messed up your life.

1. Crisis. Illness, stress, lose your job.

2. Confrontation. Somebody cares enough to say, "You're blowing it." Somebody loves you enough to confront you in truth and love and say, "You are missing out. You're about to lose your family. You're about to lose your health. You're about to lose your job." Somebody confronts you.

Pain is like a fire alarm. It goes off, warning you something is wrong in your life. If you had a fire alarm go off in your house, what would you do? "Oh, that blasted fire alarm! Somebody throw a rock at it and make it stop." No, you would do something about it. But often in our life when we hear the pain come out, the fire alarm of pain, instead of just dealing with the source, we just try to cover up the sound. We cover it up with food, alcohol, sex, many, many different things. But it doesn't deal with it. God will use these things to get our attention. And the third denial buster is,

3. Catastrophe. I hope He doesn't have to use that in your life. When the bottom falls out, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, relationally-when the bottom falls out and you hit bottom, what happens is often that He just has to step back and let us feel the full impact of our own selfish decisions. "You want to be God? O.K." And He'll just step back and let you be God. And then you reap what you sow, and you feel the full impact that causes a catastrophe in your life.

On the road to recovery, R stands for: "Realize I'm not God: I admit I'm powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and my life is unmanageable." That is the first step, the reality step. The second step is what I call the Hope step. Step 1 says, I admit it. I'm helpless. I'm powerless. Step 2 says, "There is good news. There's a Person that I can trust to handle the things that I can't handle." So the letter E is: "Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recover."

I want to look at a familiar verse of Scripture that truly expresses this point with great clarity.
Hebrews 11:6
11:6  But without faith [it is] impossible to please [Him,] for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and [that] He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
I want you to see three major points:
  1. Acknowledge God's Existence - "believe that He is…"

    1. Between 6 and 7% of the people in our nation adamantly report that they do not believe in God, according to a Gallup poll taken last month. That number is up from 4% since the late 1990's. But what has also happened over the past few years are the "discoveries" that support a Creator than evolution. Evolution continues to have to ramp up its support in order to still remain afloat. Very few are willing to say that everything happened by accident. I've told you this before, but it takes more faith to NOT believe in a Creator than it does to believe in one. The odds are better that a watch taken completely apart and placed in a bag - that when shook it will come out of the bag precisely put together, working, and telling the exact time - than to say that the earth and all of creation happened by chance. Where there's a creation there must be a Creator. Where there is an effect there must be a cause. Where there is design there must be a designer.

    2. To acknowledge that God exists is probably not difficult for most people in this room. But I want to remind you of a couple of places in Scripture that declare our Creator God:

      Genesis 1:1, "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." (Any questions?)

      Psalm 19:1, "The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows His handiwork."

      Romans 1:20 "Since the creation of the world, God's invisible qualities, his eternal power, and his divine nature have been clearly seen."

    3. So what is the real issue, if it's not a question of His existence? It's, "What kind of God is He? What is He really like? Does it matter?" The problem is, we have some very strange ideas about what God is like. Did you hear about two delinquent boys in a Catholic school, and they had been misbehaving and were sent to the principal's office? The principal knew that what they really needed was God in their lives, so she brought the first boy in and set him down. "I want to ask you a question, son: Where is God?" The kid was frightened, scared to death, by the question. He didn't know how to answer. He just sat there. She asked him three or four times. "Where is God? I want you to think about that question." So she sent him out. The second boy, who was about to come in, asked the first boy, "What's up?" The first kid said, "I don't know, but evidently God is missing and they're trying to pin it on us." We have some strange ideas about God.

      Do you know where we get most of our ideas about God? From our mother and our father - and mostly our father. For some that's good, for many that's not good. If your father was aloof and unloving then you tend to think God the Father is aloof and unloving. If your parent was somebody to be feared, then you tend to think, "I need to be afraid of God." If your father was abusive, then you tend to think God is abusive. If your parent was uncaring, then you transfer it over to God. But there are others that will say something like this, "My idea about God is …" With all due respect; who made you the authority? Just because you have a certain idea about God, does that mean it's right? No. "I've always thought of God as …." Frankly, it doesn't matter what we may think of God; it doesn't change who God is or who we are, or our need to know Him as He really is. And that leads to the second point,

  2. Understand God's Character "… and that He is a rewarder…"

    1. What is God really like? Until I know what God is really like, I can't trust Him. Does that make sense? I'm not going to trust something or someone that I don't know about. Fortunately God wants us to know about what He's like. So He came to earth 2000 years ago and came in the form of a human being. He came as Jesus Christ. And He said that he who has seen the Son has seen the Father; he that knows the Son knows the Father.

      For those that may argue that they can't really know God, that's just not true. Jesus said, "I know My sheep and I am known by My own…. My sheep know Me…." Paul put it like this to the Colossian church (Colossians 1:15), "Christ is the visible image of the invisible God."

    2. Three facts about God's character that will help us get over our habits, hurts and hang-ups:

      1. God knows all about my situation. Have you ever heard anyone say something along these lines? "Nobody knows the hell I'm going through in this marriage." You're wrong, God does. "Nobody knows how I'm struggling to break this habit, but I can't get it out of my mind." God does. "Nobody knows the depression and the fear that I'm going through." God does. And He's kept a record of your tears. He knows it all. Nothing escapes His notice. Psalm 31: "You've seen the crisis in my soul." God is aware of your needs and the Bible says He knows what you need even before you ask for it. He sees the crisis in your soul right now.

        God knows the good, the bad, and the ugly in our lives. Psalm 69:5 says, "Lord, You know how foolish I've been." Sometimes we want to forget this part. We don't want God to know all the dumb stuff we do. The fact is, there is nothing off the record with God. You always have an audience twenty-four hours a day. And amazingly with all of the bad, the crazy, the thoughtless things we do - He still deeply loves us. Even when you may not know your own motivation for doing some of the things you did, God knows. Not only does God know you and your situation, me and my situation,

      2. God cares about my situation. He really does care about what you're going through. Listen to Psalm 103:8-10, "The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities." That's our God! He is tender toward His creation. His love for us is unconditional and eternal. I talked with someone this week that was having a problem with bitterness and forgiveness. Here was the question he asked, "How can I forgive and get over this bitterness? I want it to be real forgiveness and not just kidding myself." Great question isn't it? Many struggle with bitterness over past events in their lives. Here was the answer I gave: "Go to the cross." Paul put it like this in Romans 5:8, "God demonstrates His own love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." That's what Jesus did for us!

        For those that have ever gone through the 12 step process, you know that one of the steps is to recognize a higher power and seek His help. I want to tell you who that Higher Power, and the ONLY Higher Power is - the Lord Jesus Christ. Only He knows fully about your situation, and only can more than just say that He knows. And this leads us to a key third fact about our God,

      3. God can change me and my situation. This is great news! For some that are so bogged down in a hurt, habit or hang-up, I want you to know that there is a way out - but only through Christ. And I want you to understand something: Sometimes He changes me, sometimes He changes the situation. Sometimes He changes both. But He's waiting on you to earnestly believe in Him and trust Him to do it. God is able. Paul told the Roman church (8:11), "But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you." So, if God can raise Jesus Christ from the dead, He can raise a dead relationship. He can raise a person back to health. He can set you free from an addiction. He can help you close the door on the past so those memories stop haunting you, if you trust Him.

        God is able. This week in our men's prayer time on Thursday morning, part of our chapter was to remind us who God is, to acknowledge Him. This is the God who is able: The living and true God; the eternal God; the Creator; the unchanging God; the Holy God; the Sovereign God; the saving God; the loving God; the judging God; the forgiving God; the God of peace; the God of power; the God of wisdom; the God of patience; the God of hope; the God of grace; the God of comfort; the God of mercy; the God of glory; He is God My Father!1

        There's a third key point that I want you to see,

  3. Accept God's offer to help me "Without faith…. anyone who comes to Him must believe…."

    1. You'll never make lasting progress apart from a conscious decision to accept His offer of help. Rick Warren said, "The longer you postpone your pain, the further recovery gets away. The longer you deny it, postpone it, say, "It's no problem, it's not a big issue, I can deal with it, I can handle it," the fewer days you have on this earth being all God meant for you to be." That means you need to look up and not spend so much time looking back.

      Think about it like a rear view mirror in a car. It's helpful when you're backing up and for glancing ever so often to make sure the kids are okay or that other cars are okay behind you. But it's not healthy to look in the rear view mirror all the time. Looking at your past gives you perspective like that rear view mirror does - but concentrating solely on the past will destroy a future! In fact, someone said, "If you just keep living in the past, you tend to repeat it." How can you NOT repeat it? Look up!

      But there's only one way to accept God's offer - by faith. "But I'm so scared of change. I don't know what may happen if I trust in Him. I don't even know if I want to change." If that's the case, then be honest in your praying and tell God, "I don't know if I'm willing, but I'm willing for You to make me willing." So, what happens when I open up my life to God's power? When I ask God to put the Spirit of Jesus Christ in my life? What does it do? Does it turn me into some kind of religious nut? The Bible tells us exactly what happens when we invite God's Spirit into our lives. "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind." I don't want to have a phobic fear of everything or anything running and ruining my life, but I desire power, love and a sound mind. Think about it.

      I want power in my life. I want power to break habits I can't break. I want power to do the things that I know are right to do but I can't seem to do them on my own. I want power to break free from the past and let those memories go. I want power to get on with the kind of life God wants me to live.

      I want love. I want real love. I want to be able to love people and have them love me and let go of hurts so I don't build up all these walls and have fake intimacy, but have genuine intimacy because I'm not afraid of really loving and I'm not afraid of really being loved. I want the kind of love that doesn't feel like I can have only one friend and then run everyone else off. Church Family, I want to say to you again that Jesus said the world will know that we are His disciples when we have love for one another. Please reach out and keep on reaching out and loving on folks that you know and especially those that you don't know. God has given that love to those that are His.

      And God also gives a sound mind - self-control. You're not really in control until Christ is in control of your life and the Master, masters the circumstances of your life. And then you understand what it means to get it all together for the first time in your life because you're not trying to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.

      I want to give you a principle that I learned in all my years of engineering schooling at Georgia Tech. You'll like this. I have learned that things work best when plugged in. Toasters, blenders, televisions, radios, things work best when they're plugged in. Simple to understand, even trivial isn't it? But I want you to really grasp that principle in the spiritual realm - God meant for you and me to be plugged in to Him. How does that happen? How do I plug into God's power?

      Real simple. Believe and receive. First, I believe that God exists and I believe that He does know and care and have the power to help me and then by faith I receive Him into my life-"Jesus Christ put Your Spirit in me." You do that by using a four-letter word. The second step of recovery involves a four-letter word, and I want to challenge you to use this four-letter word today. It takes courage to say this word: HELP. I need help. "God I need Your help in my life." The Road to Recovery is not easy. It means facing up to some real problems you haven't wanted to deal with. It means taking some risks. It means being honest, trusting God. But when you take this second step all of a sudden your recovery is no longer simply a matter of will power, God says, "I will be with you."

      I want to give you two verses of Scripture. One of these really ministered to me not long after I was a new believer. Isaiah 43:1b-2, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you." Believer, when you feel all alone, here's the Word that comes screaming out of God's love letter to you and me, "I will be with you this next week, this month, this year as you face those issues you've been afraid to face in your life."

      Where are you hurting today? Are you going through some deep waters? Do you feel like you're going under for the last time? Are you going through the fire right now and the heat's on in your life? You think, "I'm going to get burned up or burned out? Do you feel like you're stuck in a rut and say, "I just can't get the power to change; I feel powerless"? There is a higher power you can plug in to. His name is Jesus Christ. The name above all names. I invite you to open your heart and life to Him today.

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1Bobby Moore, Your Personal Devotional Life, 59-61.