Maysville Baptist Church

Coming Clean

Psalm 32:1-4

We're going through, step by step, on the Road to Recovery - a process that helps in dealing with hurts, habits, hang-ups in people's lives. And we're using the word, RECOVERY, to help us remember what that process is. The letter R can be called the Reality step - Realize I'm not God, that I'm powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and my life is unmanageable. In reality I realize that I have problems I can't seem to control.

The letter E can be called the Hope Step-Although I'm powerless to control all the problems and all the things in my life, God has the power to control them, and E stands for Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and He has to power to help me recover.

The letter C can be called the Commitment Step-It's not enough to know that I've got problems and not enough to know that God can solve them, but I must Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ's care and control. I must make a commitment of all my life and will and say, "God, here is my life, the good, the bad and the ugly." And God begins to take those problems and begins to work on them. We call that the Commitment Step.

The fourth step, the letter O can be called the Housecleaning step. This has to do with cleaning up the past, letting go of guilt, gaining a clear conscience, learning to live guilt free and the way God wants us to live. What an important step that must be made in the lives of those that no longer want to live bound by the hurts, habits and hang-ups of life! O stands for "Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to someone I trust."

Why is this a part of the recovery process? Guilt keeps us stuck in the past. Guilt keeps us from growing, from becoming all God wants us to be. If you're going to learn how to really enjoy life, you've got to learn how to let go of guilt. Let's make sure that we understand something; no one in this room is faultless. As one lady shared with me last Sunday, and she is so very right - we all put our pants on one leg at a time. Even the man known as the man after God's own heart wasn't perfect. Listen to his explanation of what sin does to a person as well as what it feels like to be forgiven.

Psalm 32:1-4

32:1  A Psalm of David. A Contemplation. Blessed [is he whose] transgression [is] forgiven, [Whose] sin [is] covered.
32:2  Blessed [is] the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity, And in whose spirit [there is] no deceit.
32:3  When I kept silent, my bones grew old Through my groaning all the day long.
32:4  For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer. Selah

I want you to see two major points:

The Consequences of Guilt vv 3-4
1. That David was feeling the effects of guilt are evident. David recorded that his sin, and I believe the guilt of his sin as well, were destroying him. If you read in Genesis 42, you'll find the story of Joseph's brothers going to Egypt to buy grain because it was a time of famine. And as soon as things went bad and they wound up in jail, the very first thing that came out of the mouth of one of the brothers was what they had done to Joseph (their little brother) almost 20 years earlier. They were still feeling the guilt. That's what guilt does.
  
  How do you react to guilt? We may deny the guilt. We may repress the guilt. We may blame other people for our guilt. We may excuse our guilt. We may rationalize our guilt. But we still feel the effects of it.
2. So, what are the consequences of guilt? Guilt impacts one:
  1. Physically vv 3-4. As I commented on this passage some time ago, I referenced the fact that I am convinced that David aged more in the year that he was silent because of the sin of adultery, conspiracy, and murder. He says that his bones grew old; he groaned all throughout the day; and there was no vitality left in him. When he was awake, he was miserable. When he went to bed, he couldn't sleep because he was miserable. All the way around, King David was physically beaten down. That's what guilt will do. That's what covering up sin will do.
    
    Where there is guilt, it won't take long before it begins to physically show. It will show in fatigue, in facial expressions, in eating or not eating. In fact, I read that psychiatrists said some years ago that around seventy percent of the people in the hospital could leave today if they knew how to resolve their guilt. Isn't that amazing?
    
    Before I go any further I want you to understand something important here. When we make that third step that we talked about last week - to consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ's care and control; when a person is saved - not only is their sin taken away (removed) forever, but also the guilt! There are too many times that there is a differentiation between the two. The blood of Jesus took away our sin and the guilt of our sin!
  2. Emotionally. You cannot be a confident person if you have guilt in your life. It makes you feel insecure because you're always worried. "What if somebody finds out? What if somebody really knows the truth about me then they may not like me, they may reject me, I may not be all that I'm cracked up to be?" As a result that guilt causes one to be afraid of other people and it destroys our confidence.
    
    I read this week about a prank that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, writer of the Sherlock Holmes novels, played on five of the most prominent men in England in his day. He sent an anonymous note to these men and it simply said this: "All is found out, flee at once." Within twenty-four hours all five men had left the country. What if you received a letter like that? How would you respond? What would come to mind? Guilt affects a person,
  3. Spiritually. It separates us from fellowship with God. It also impacts our view of God. We look at God as though He always has something that He's holding over us. And because of that, we feel that God isn't the loving God that Scripture declares. But also, we feel that God doesn't really have the power to fully forgive. What do I mean?
    
    We get stuck in the past because of our guilt. Therefore we look down, instead of looking up. What guilt does is it tends to replay in your mind over and over and over the things you wish you could change but that you're never going to change. Guilt cannot change the past just like worry cannot change the future. But it just makes today miserable. And guilt affects a person,
  4. Relationally. Guilt causes people to respond to others in wrong ways. Guilt can make me impatient with other people. Guilt can cause me to overreact in anger. Have you ever seen somebody overreact in anger, like a nuclear explosion to a firecracker cause? Often that's motivated by guilt when you get down behind it. Sometimes the persons themselves don't even know that. Guilt can cause you to spoil people, indulge people. "I feel like I'm guilty in this relationship so I buy them lots of things." Parents often feel guilty and overcompensate by indulging. Guilt can cause you to avoid commitment in relationships. You get so close in the relationship but then no closer. "Why won't I let people get close to me?" One of the reasons is guilt. So it damages my relationships, because it keeps me responding to people in ways that sometimes I don't understand. A lot of marriage problems today are caused by things that happened prior to marriage that a spouse still feels guilty about. And it causes marriage problems.
    
    I want you to understand that this fourth step is a very important step. It's a scary step. This is the one that separates the men from the boys. This is the one that separates those who want to talk about recovery and those who really mean business saying, "I'm going to get on with my life. I want to get well. I want to grow. I want to let go of the past. I want to be able to close it. I want to bury the past." You can't bury it as long as it's alive. And so you have to know how you can take these steps. This leads to a second point,
The Clearing of Guilt v 5
1. David expressed just what he did when he was confronted with his sins v 5. (Read). "I acknowledged my sin to you, and my iniquity I have not hidden." As we noted a few moments ago with this step - openly examine and confess the faults to God…. I want you to understand that though some may say that we may have to live with that guilt for the rest of our lives, it's just not true. When Jesus died on the cross, He took away the penalty AND the guilt of our sin.
2. How can the guilt be cleared? Note this process:
  1. Take a personal moral inventory. What that means is that you get alone by yourself. You get a pencil and a notepad and you sit down and say, "What is wrong with me? What have I felt guilty about? What have I regretted? What have I felt remorseful about? What are the faults in my life that I know need changing? Is there anything that is bothering me consciously or unconsciously?" And ask God to help. Ask Him to bring to your mind those things. David put it like this (Psalm 139:23-24), "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
    
    This requires time and a commitment to be painfully honest with yourself. Quit pretending. Stop justifying that action or attitude. But here's a question, "Why write it down?" Here's why - it forces you to be specific. "Why can't I just think about these things, pray about them, and move on?" Here's why. If you don't write them down, you'll never get to the point that you can truly deal with them. Or worse yet, you'll forget about that concern and move on to something else - like what's for dinner. Someone said, "Thoughts disentangle themselves when they pass through the lips and the fingertips." If I can't say it, put it down in writing, it's still pretty vague. You can't just say, "God, I've blown it in life." You can't talk in code. Call it what it is - and agree with God that sin is sin. As you get specific and face reality, it helps you stop denying problems in your life.
    
    You have there in your notes some headings you need to put on a piece of paper: "What are my resentments?" "What things do I continually run through my mind?" "What people do I intentionally avoid?" "What are my faults?" "What are my sins?" "What are my mistakes?"
  2. Accept responsibility for my faults. In this lawsuit prone world that we live in today, what a needed act to be heeded. I can't believe what some folks get money for these days! All those people that smoked all of their lives and then sued the tobacco companies because they got cancer - that's crazy. Everybody in their right mind knows that nicotine is addictive and that smoking can kill you! For the woman that sued McDonald's because the coffee was hot that spilled in her lap - and won - I just don't get it. She ought to know better than drink and drive - or get water instead!
    
    When it comes to our personal lives, I am sure that we could easily find others to point a finger of fault for the way we are. We learned last Wednesday evening that the devil is partly to blame for the temptations we may fall into; but the other part to blame is the one that committed the sin! Friend, as long as you're looking for someone else to blame, you'll never get over that habit, hurt or hang-up. As long as you are trying to justify what you did - you'll never get beyond it. Proverbs 21:2 says, "Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the hearts."
    
    Please understand: The greatest holdup to the healing for my hang-up is me. The greatest holdup to the healing for your hang-up is you. It starts with being painfully honest and saying, "I'm the problem." Have you ever heard someone say, "If I just change relationships, just change jobs, or just change towns, just change locations, then everything will be fine"? The only problem is wherever "I" goes, "I" is still there and "I" will keep messing it up! You must accept responsibility for your faults. Don't rationalize. Don't say, "It happened a long time ago or it's just a stage or everybody does it." Don't minimize it. You don't say, "It's no big deal." If it's no big deal how come you still remember it twenty years later? And you do. Don't blame others, "It's mostly their fault." It may be mostly their fault, but God holds you responsible for the ten percent that's your fault. Admit you messed up. 1 John 1:8 says, "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us."
    
    What are you pretending to not feel guilty about, but in your heart you still do? Don't you think it's time to finally deal with it and get over it so you can get on with your life? Make a moral inventory and then look at that list and say, "Yes, that's me. I accept responsibility for my faults."
  3. Ask God for forgiveness. The next verse after 1 John 1:8 expresses this point well, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." How do we get this forgiveness? Let me first answer How NOT to get forgiveness from God:
    1. Don't beg. You don't have to beg God for His forgiveness. He already wants to forgive you. God wants to forgive you more than you want to ask for forgiveness. He is a forgiving God. You don't have to beg.
    2. Don't bargain. Don't say, "If You'll just forgive me, I'll never do this again." You're kidding yourself if you think this is how it is. You'll probably do "it" again. We never have to bargain with God to get His forgiveness.
    3. Don't bribe. Don't say, "God if You'll forgive me, I promise to do a bunch of good things. I'll go to church, I'll tithe, I'll do this or that …." All of these undermine the love that God has for every person and His willing desire to forgive. Friend, please do none of these if you're seeking God's forgiveness.
  4. So, how do we ask for forgiveness? Simply, believe that He will forgive you when you confess your sin. That word, confess, comes from two words in the language of the New Testament, which literally means, "same word." Confession to God means to speak the same thing about the stuff on your list that God says about it. I say, "God, You're right; it's wrong." Agree with God.
    
    I want to say to you again that God is utterly reliable. It's God's nature. But you say, "You don't know what's on my list! I could never be forgiven for those things." You're wrong. As a pastor, I have heard of some pretty shocking things that have happened to people, or of things that have been confessed. Regardless of what it may be, I simply state the biblical fact, that forgiveness awaits those that are willing to confess their sin (however bad or big).
    
    You see, many that may be oppressed or depressed feel as if somebody needs to "pay" for something that happened earlier in life. "I did this, so I have to feel bad, be depressed and withdrawn for the rest of my life." No you don't. You don't have to "pay" for your sin. That's what Jesus did! Our Lord's word is clear, "I can forgive and I can cleanse you of every sin." And I've heard people say this before, "That's almost too good to be true. I just don't know if it is true." Oh, it's true dear friend. Jesus died on the cross for your sin, my sin - the ones we've confessed and committed and ones you're going to do." Listen to this word of hope (Isaiah 1:18), "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool." That's the power of the blood of Jesus Christ, my Savior!
    
    There's one more step:
  5. Admit my faults to another person. Listen to James 5:16, "Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." And you know what? This rarely happens today - and habits, hurts and hang-ups continue. But why others? Rick Warren says that the root of our problem is relational. We lie to each other. We deceive each other. We're dishonest with each other. We wear masks. We pretend we have it together. But we don't. And we deny our true feelings, and we play games. But it still doesn't change our need to share with others?
    
    Here's another great question: "Do I just go out and broadcast my sins to everybody?" No. Telling the wrong person could be big trouble. You don't just go out and indiscriminately tell your problems. Who do you tell?
    1. Somebody you trust. Somebody who can keep a confidence, who is not a gossip and who has a reputation for keeping a confidence. Just remember, if someone comes to you to share a juicy bit of gossip on another, they'll do it to you one day.
    2. Somebody who understands the value of what you're doing - the need for confessing your faults one to another.
    3. Somebody who is mature enough that they are not going to be shocked.
    4. Somebody who knows the Lord well enough that they can reflect His forgiveness to you. That may be a lay pastor, a close trusted friend, a Christian counselor. Most genuine Christians I know would be honored to listen to your fourth step.
  6. Accept God's forgiveness and forgive myself. Listen to Paul's words (Romans 3:23-24), "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus." Understand that all have sinned - ALL. But God stands ready to forgive if we're willing to accept the grace that He made available through Jesus Christ. I want you to know that,
    1. God forgives instantly.
    2. God forgives freely.
    3. God forgives completely. He wipes it out. "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

Click here to return