Making Changes
Romans 12:1-2
We all have hurts we'll never forget. We all have hang-ups we'll never get rid of. We all have habits that are messing up our lives. And we've been talking about how to get victory over them - to thrive in life and to understand that what Jesus says is more important than what others may say. He said, "I have come so that you may have life and have it more abundantly" (to the full). More stuff? No. More meaning. Purpose. And this morning we're going to look at the 5th step in this road to recovery - the Transformation Step. The letter V in RECOVERY stands for, "Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects."
I want to remind you at the outset of this message of a word our Lord declared through Jeremiah (29:11-14a), "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity…." The Israelites were captive because of choices they made to go another direction than what the Lord had planned for them. But here is the grace of Almighty God willing to bring these folks where they long to be, but have tried different ways of getting there - but they were still captive. There's only one way to the life you desire to live. Adult, student, child - the only way to the full and meaningful life is to follow the Lord's direction for your life. But you may say that you've already made some decisions without the Lord. You've gone down some paths you know the Lord did not want you to go down. Is there any hope? You better believe there is. You need to make a u-turn - and the Lord wants to help you do just that. Listen to these words from Paul,
Romans 12:1-2
12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, [which is] your reasonable service.
12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what [is] that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
I want you to see three major points,
-
The Source of my conflicts v 1
-
Paul challenges his readers to do something that goes against their nature - be a living sacrifice. J. Vernon McGee puts the first verse like this, "Therefore, I beg of you, brethren, by the mercies of God that you yield your bodies-your total personalities-a living sacrifice, set apart for God, well-pleasing to God, which is your rational or spiritual service."
We see the conflict in two ways. First, Paul says, "I beseech you…." This is an intensive word that expresses a need to do something that is not easy to do. "I urge you, strongly encourage you…." Second, it almost seems a contrast with the last three words of verse 1 - "your reasonable service." What this means is that if you really stop and think about all that Christ is and offers to us as children of God; the only reasonable choice is to commit to follow Him, to be a living sacrifice. The mercies of God are incredible. Our God has an abundance of mercy, amen? I agree with J. Vernon McGee again, "God is rich in mercy; God has plenty of it…. He has had to use a lot of it for me, but He still has plenty of it for you. "Mercy" means compassion, pity, and the tenderness of God. His compassions never fail."1
-
But what is the source of this conflict? John wrote in his epistle the source, or sources, of our conflicts (1 John 2:16), "For all that is in the world-the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life-is not of the Father but is of the world." What are they? Three sources:
-
My cravings - "the lust of the flesh…." Let's realize something about this body that we have - there are struggles that each of us face. Some call them weaknesses. And they are usually different for each person. Not everyone struggles with alcohol, but there are some that do. Not everyone has emotional struggles. Not everyone has struggles with eating, but some do. And there is scientific evidence that suggests that some of these may be inherited. But I want to make something very clear to you. For those weak areas that we have, it doesn't give us an excuse to do them. If you say that you got your bad temper from your parents, it never gives you the right to go out and do something wrong because of it. If you have a tendency to be lazy, and your parents had the same struggle; you don't have the right to live the rest of your life as a bum. Just because you have a craving doesn't give you the right to meet it in any old way. That's the lust of the flesh. But also notice,
-
My circumstances - "the lust of the eyes." We place ourselves in certain circumstances that we should not be in. But we may be in that circumstance to meet a need within. What am I talking about? You have a legitimate need for respect. But if you didn't get respect early in life, then you'll try other means (circumstances) in order to get that respect - ways that aren't healthy or satisfying. You have a legitimate need for love, but if you didn't get love you may have settled for cheap sex (a bad circumstance due to the lust of the eyes), to get the emotional closeness. You have a need for security but if you didn't get it, you may have tried to cover yourself with materialism and possessions to show "I'm secure." And that materialistic desire led to a lot of debt that you didn't need. That's the lust of the eyes - believing more of what the world says is satisfying than what God says is right. But also notice,
-
My choices - "the pride of life." In life, there are choices that we make, all because we want to be superior to others. We want to impress others that we have more, know more, do more. It's one thing to be talented, and it's another thing to flaunt those talents and be puffed up with pride. And with these choices; if you choose to do something long enough, it becomes a habit. Once it becomes a habit, you're stuck. Things you never intended to develop in your life develop because you chose to do a certain thing that became a habit.
Believer (and that's who Paul is addressing), I want you to understand that Paul's plea to us is very legitimate. How we must present ourselves (a once for all commitment that commands a definite commitment of the body to the Lord) a living sacrifice - only by the mercies of God. But it's not easy. As long as we are on this earth we will have battles with the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. But we've got to fight - and we fight by presenting ourselves to the Lord as a living sacrifice.
But for those of you that may not be a Christian, I want you to understand that you'll never get victory over any hurt, habit or hang-up until you have a personal relationship with, not just personal knowledge of, Jesus Christ. Before we talk about how those changes can be made, let's address another issue,
-
The struggle to overcome my conflicts v 2a
-
Paul admonishes the Romans with what they are NOT to do. He tells them, "Do not be conformed to this world…." One paraphrase puts this verse, "Don't let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold." You see, "The world wants to control your mind, but God wants to transform your mind."2 And there is so much difference between the two. The world thinks that change will take place from the outside in. But as we'll see in a few moments, lasting change always happens, and can only happen, from the inside out. So, because of the challenge and cry of the world to conform, there really is a great struggle to overcome the conflict within. But,
-
Why is it so hard to change? You can try all the fads and therapies and books and seminars, but it will still be hard to change. Why? Let me give you some reasons:
-
Because I've had them so long. Let me be honest with you. That habit, hurt and hang-up you have didn't come overnight. It likely happened and solidified over a long period of time - even years. I am well aware that when Christ comes in, He can take away a desire immediately. I understand that and I believe that. But I also want you to understand that it doesn't always happen like that. I think that was part of Paul's confession in Romans 7 - what he wanted to do, he didn't do; what he didn't want to do, he did. Peter struggled with pressure and acceptance - he denied Jesus under pressure, and in Galatians Paul had to confront Peter in front of his fellow Jews for being hypocritical under pressure. When you've had a struggle for a long time, it will likely take a while to get free from it.
So, does that mean that God understands and we don't need to do anything about them? No, that's not what I'm saying. You can say, "That's just the way I am and I can't change…. God made me that way…" all you want but there still must be a change.
We struggle because that habit, hurt or hang-up is part of our,
-
Identity. Complete this sentence (in your mind) "It's just like me to be _______________________," (a workaholic, overweight, anxious, passive and let people run over me, fearful, to lose my temper). In essence, you're setting yourself up and identifying yourself with your defect and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You say, "I always eat when I get stressed." What's going to happen the next time you get stressed? You're going to raid the refrigerator! You're setting yourself up! In essence you're saying, "That's who I am." Another reason why we struggle is,
-
Payoff. Every defect has a payoff. It may mask my pain. It may give me an excuse to fail. It may allow me to compensate for guilt in my life. It may get me attention. My defect may allow me to control other people. Any time a negative behavior is repeated in you, yourself, your kids, anybody, even though it's self-destructive, there's always a payoff. We don't do things that don't get rewarded. Kids throw a tantrum because they're going to get rewarded - get their way. Husbands and wives, you may throw out some line because you know that you'll get rewarded - you'll win the argument or get your way. You're not fighting fair! But instead of changing because it's the best thing to do, we struggle because we want the payoff. Another reason for the struggle is that,
-
Satan discourages me. He's constantly suggesting negative thoughts. He's the accuser of the brethren. He says, "This will never work, you can't do it, you can't change." Some of you have been coming to this recovery series and thinking, "This is good. I'd really like to get rid of this habit, I'd like to stop hating that person, I'd like to stop hurting from that past experience years ago, that happened out on the school yard, I'd love to change." Then you get outside and Satan starts: "Who do you think you are? You think you're going to change, forget it! Other people can change, but not you. You're stuck. It's hopeless. Don't even think about changing." He's the master accuser! And worse than that, he says, "If you try to get rid of this, you'll go crazy. If you try to get rid of this, you'll self-destruct, something bad will happen to you." Folks, I want to tell you again that the Bible says Satan is a liar. He lies to keep you in bondage. But it was the Lord Jesus, the way, the truth and the life, who said, "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free."
So, if conforming doesn't work - and it doesn't - how can I voluntarily change to what God has planned? That's our third point,
-
The submission to God's change process to overcome my conflicts v 2b
-
We are never changed by conforming, but by being transformed. Paul said, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Understand that if you want to change your life you've got to change the way you think. The Bible says, your thoughts determine your feelings, your feelings determine your actions.
The change must be from the inside out - and only God can do that. The word "transform" is literally the word, metamorphosis. Metamorphosis means a total change from the inside out. When it comes to the spiritual life the "key to this change is the "mind", the control center of one's attitudes, thoughts, feelings, and actions. As one's mind keeps on being made new by the spiritual input of God's Word, prayer, and Christian fellowship, his lifestyle keeps on being transformed."3 So, who controls your thinking? Is it the world or our God? "If the world controls your thinking, you are a conformer; if God controls your thinking, you are a transformer."4
If there is going to be change, there must be change from within. Andrew has a riding toy that he plays with. And one of the wheels are bent so that it drives crooked. So, in order for it to go straight, it takes some constant holding onto the steering wheel and some man handling for it to go the direction that it needs to go. But after a while, you get tired and you either give in and go crooked or you quit. Every attempt to conform will eventually lead a person to give in or quit. But only through transformation (allowing the Lord to take the wheel) will a person be willing and able to change, because there has been a change of mind. But I want to give some practical advice here. To know and do and enjoy God's good, acceptable and complete will of God, note these steps of change:
-
Focus on changing one defect at a time. Proverbs 17:24 in the NLT says, "Sensible people keep their eyes glued on wisdom, but a fool's eyes wander to the ends of the earth." In other words, their desire is to focus on one thing at a time. You may be thinking of 15, 20 or even 30 things that you need to change in your life - and if you set out to change all of them at one time - you'll get discouraged in just a little while and you won't change anything. When you see several changes that need to be made, get alone before the Lord and ask Him to prioritize them - which one does He want you to work on first? Get specific. If you're not specific you won't change anything. Go back to the personal moral inventory we talked about last week.
-
Focus on victory one day at a time. I love that part of the model prayer that Jesus gave us when He said (Matthew 6:11), "Give us this day our daily bread." He didn't say, "Give us this month our daily bread." He also said in that Sermon on the Mount, "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." But listen to the next verse, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
So many start so well but end "oh well" - and one reason is that they were not willing to stay at it one day at a time. I oftentimes say, "Rome wasn't built in a day, but it was built." Character isn't built in a day, but it is built. Character defects aren't removed in a day, but they can be removed. In this instant society, we want instant spiritual maturity. If you think you can become spiritually mature overnight, you'll be greatly disappointed. But if you realize that you're on a journey, you're growing into a spiritual adult, you'll fare much better.
-
Focus on God's power and not my power, my willpower. You already know willpower isn't enough. If willpower worked you'd already be changed. But you haven't, so you can't. And you won't because you don't have the power to do it. So you know willpower doesn't work. In fact, depending on your own strength blocks recovery in your life. When you say, "I can work it out, I can handle it, I can do it all myself. Really, I'm fine. This is not a big problem." It's a big problem, because you've still got it.
Listen to this question from Jeremiah 13:23, "Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? (The obvious answer is, No.) Then may you also do good who are accustomed to do evil." One cannot up and say, "I'm different." For change to happen in your life, it must be and will be only by God's power. Intentionally and specifically give that problem to the Lord.
-
Focus on what you want, not on what you don't want. Remember that this comes after the decision to consciously choose to commit your life to Christ. The apostle Paul tells us what we need to focus on. Philippians 4:8 says, "whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things."
What you will dwell upon will have the greatest influence on you. Whatever has your attention has you. We must diligently set our focus on things above. God's Word is, and always will be the most important key to having a transformed mind and a victorious life. Church Family, we must set our focus on the word of God! Do you realize that there are over 7,000 promises in the Bible? Why not memorize one a week. That doesn't sound too hard. One verse a week; 52 in a year. Little by little you're establishing a great arsenal.
Friend, I want to tell you that regardless of what you are facing; when you are placing the Word of God in your heart and mind and repeating them and holding fast to them - it will make an incredible difference. Instead of getting back into the same old rut that you've been in; get some verses of Scripture that address your area of weakness and start going over them again and again. I can tell you that it won't be long until you notice a change in your life. That's the power of the Word of God!
-
Focus on doing good not feeling good. Paul said, "Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh." You must make the conscious choice to change and then consciously choose to stay with it. It's like exercise. Not too many people that haven't exercised in years get up and say with exuberation, "I'm so excited about exercising!" They may do that the first day, but I'll guarantee you on the second day there won't be much excitement there! Do good regardless of what your feelings are!
Let's face it, making a change will be awkward at the start, but staying at it because you know it's the right thing will bring about a change in your attitude later.
-
Focus on people who help me, not hinder me in making these positive changes I want to make in my life. If you hang out with dogs you'll get fleas. If you hang out with those that yearn to be like Christ, your desires will change. Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens the countenance of another." We need others.
-
Focus on progress not perfection. You must be patient and you must stay at it. So many that come and talk with me about an issue and doing the right thing hear these words from me before they leave: Stay at it.
Philippians 1:6 says, "Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." And it begins with a relationship with Him. And then voluntarily submitting each and every day of your life to Him for Him to make any and every change that He desires. Will you let Him today?